What to say first, what to say when they say "not now," and the moment to stop talking
You have practiced this on the drive down I-65 for a week, and the version you practiced opens with "I know budgets are tight." That single sentence hands your manager the refusal before you have made the request. They now have a way out, and you offered it to them politely. The remainder of the meeting becomes you working to win back ground you gave up in the first breath.
The common habit is to be agreeable first and precise later. Supervisors frequently confuse being easygoing with being adaptable. A 2023 study from Berkeley Haas found that 54% of women, against 44% of men, had pushed back on their latest offer, yet women still walked away with the smaller paycheck. Speaking up is not what holds you back. Speaking up vaguely, with no figure and no date attached, is.
1. The opening line
A softer opener might sound like this: "I know this might not be the right moment, but I wanted to raise compensation."
A firmer version goes: "I want to discuss my pay. For my role, the midpoint is X, and my current salary is Y. In Indianapolis, I'd like to close that gap this year."
This works because two sentences give a figure, a reference point and a deadline. At that point your manager is debating a number instead of wondering whether you're in earnest. Pay ranges are required in a growing number of states, so the midpoint is often findable within half an hour of searching, whether you are at a hospital in Carmel or a warehouse off the south side.
2. When they ask why you deserve it
A weaker reply sounds like: "I've put in a lot of effort this year and picked up plenty of extra work."
Better: "Here are three reasons." Stronger proof: "I took charge of the vendor renewal and secured the contract." I ran the systems integration two months ahead of schedule. Add: "I now supervise two more direct reports than my original job description covered."
Why it lands: effort is only a sentiment. A completed renewal, a met deadline and a larger team are facts a manager can point to. Your manager will likely have to make this case to leadership, and you have just written it for them.
3. If the reply is a flat no for now
Weaker: "I see where you're coming from." Maybe we can revisit it later."
Stronger: "Got it." Asking for the conditions and the timing turns a vague postponement into something you can track.
Saying "later" commits to nothing. A sincere manager will spell out the requirements and name a month. If instead you hear "let's see," you have gained useful information well before the next review in Indy, Carmel or wherever your office sits.
4. If the Fishers team offers less than what you requested
Weaker: "Wonderful, many thanks."
A softer option is: "I appreciate that." It moves things a little way forward for me. Could we get the plan for the remainder in writing, along with a timeline?
Being appreciative is perfectly fine. Thankfulness that closes the discussion is what undermines you. Accepting the offer while keeping the outstanding difference documented in writing is how these gaps are actually narrowed, whether you're in Fishers, Westfield or Zionsville.
5. The moment to stop talking
Another common reflex is: "I'd gladly take on more if it helps, or we could consider a title change instead, or..."
Stronger: say your number. Then stop.
Why it works: silence after an ask feels like a drop-off. Your manager feels that same drop, and whoever speaks first usually gives something away. Let it be them. Three seconds will feel like a minute. Count them anyway.
The idea that unites all five
Lead with precision and only then with warmth: figures, dates and proof come first. A manager can't do anything with a mood, and most would prefer a well-built case, since that case is what they must bring to their own leadership. Not negotiating was never really the problem. Negotiating without a figure was.
Forward this to the colleague who keeps saying she'll raise it soon. Indy's own Indianapolis Women Leaders Association networks, including OneZone Women's Network in Hamilton County and the Central Indiana Women's Business Center, are good places to practice these lines with peers before the real meeting.