A 9-question test, and why the answer changes everything you do next
Your manager claimed your analysis in front of the CEO on Monday, then blanked on your name during a call with a vendor on Wednesday. Somewhere around the fourth article on narcissism you realize that, in Indianapolis or anywhere else, each one reads like a description of your manager. Yet those same pieces also fit a worn-out, overpromoted supervisor who never received any real training in leading people. The distinction carries weight, because one of these bosses can be steered and the other mostly has to be endured.
The common reaction is to slap a diagnosis on him and then act as though the label settles things. It usually backfires, since a label is not a strategy. When his problem is really incompetence rather than ego, treating him as a narcissist can leave you suspicious of a person who was actually willing to help you in Carmel or Fishers. If he really is a narcissist, treating him as merely inexperienced costs you a year of waiting for him to change.
Consider this a quick check: nine questions, put to five ordinary situations. A boss who is poor at the work will fumble, get somewhat better, then slip again. Speaking up is something a narcissist tends to punish later on.
Sign 1. The credit goes missing
It is tempting to say, "I'm the one who did that work."
Preferably: "Pleased the CEO took to it." "For the next phase in Westfield, I'd appreciate the chance to take her through my part."
Reasons: three inquiries. Does he agree? Does his approval survive until the meeting arrives? Does he mention your name on his own when your work comes up? An ineffective manager says yes and then forgets, and a friendly reminder usually repairs it. A narcissist says yes to your request and then finds a reason you can't be there.
Sign 2. You return to him with a snag he partly caused
It is tempting to respond, "This only happened because you changed the deadline."
"When the timeline shifted, we lost a week on the Greenwood account." Here's what I need to recover it."
Reasons: two inquiries. Does he focus on the fix or on blame? Does the discussion remain focused on the actual work? A merely inexperienced boss gets flustered and then appreciative. A narcissist grows distant, and the week you lost gets reframed as one you apparently wasted, a sense that lingers in Indianapolis offices long after the fact.
Sign 3. You ask for something small
The tempting move is to do nothing at all, since asking feels too dangerous.
"Could I take Friday off for the leadership workshop in Zionsville?" The deliverables are covered."
Reasons to notice: a pair of queries. Does he see your question as a helpful contribution or as betrayal? Does a cost show up down the line that no one bothers to name? A weak manager just forgets that he made the promise. Narcissists keep a running tab.
Sign 4. You disagree in a meeting, respectfully
The tempting choice is to keep quiet until it feels safe to speak.
Preferably: "My view differs slightly." "Would it be alright if I shared the opposing view in two minutes?"
Reasons: one inquiry. What happens to you after the meeting? A poor manager may sulk for about an hour. A narcissist launches a quiet campaign, and by your next review in Plainfield the phrase "not a team player" has appeared.
Sign 5. Something goes well without him
Risky phrasing: "The Carmel client meeting went wonderfully. You didn't miss anything."
Preferably: "The Fishers client accepted the terms. "Your perspective on our next move would mean a lot to me."
The reason this matters is that one question reveals more than any other. Can he take pleasure in your success even though he wasn't present for it? Inexperienced managers usually can. A manager of the other type cannot, and the sting of that will stay with you for a week.
The thread running through all five signs
Add up your answers. If he mainly stumbles and forgets, he simply lacks skill in the role, and you can handle him with written follow-ups and patience across Central Indiana. If he mainly punishes, quit waiting for change, keep a record of everything, and begin calculating what leaving would cost you in Indy. In HBR, Tulshyan and Burey made the case that calling it imposter syndrome places a structural problem on the shoulders of the individual. A bad boss does something very similar. Your character is not what causes this.
Share this with the friend who keeps asking whether the fault is hers. It isn't.